Chapter 10.

Read Chapter 9 here with Cupcakemummy

Departure lounge number three. I loathe long haul flights. At least I am almost home. This conference was a welcome break. A break from the book. And life. And my dog that keeps pissing on my bed. I swear he hates me. Mostly the book though.

First thing I’m doing when I get home is stopping over at Papa Mateo’s for some carbs on cards. They are always so kind to me. Always. Even after the accident. The day that changed everything. He was so little. Just like my brother. I reply this day over and over in my mind but I can’t bring myself to say it out loud. It should have been me. I was watching them. Luke and Antonio were always best friends. Since they first shared a peanut-butter sandwich for the first time on the school playground. Mom told me to watch them riding their bikes. To make sure they weren’t chasing the neighbours cat or straying too far from home. I made out with that kid from math class behind the bush for 5 minutes. That’s all it took.

5 minutes for Luke and Antonio to ride their bikes to the back of the house.

5 minutes for them to reach the pool dad put a cover for the winter.

5 minutes for them to ride around the pool.

5 minutes for Antonio to fall in and hit his head.

5 minutes for Luke to jump in and try and help his friend.

5 minutes for Luke and Antonio to disappear under the sail.

5 minutes for 2 family’s lives to change forever.

How they still treat me with kindness after I was single handily responsible for their son’s death I still don’t understand. I think I go back to their place to prove to them that little Antonio is very much a part of my every day. Its ingrained in my life. I caused death and I am still alive. Most expensive sentence in my life. Took 4 years if therapy just to say that out loud.

Perhaps my children’s book is a result of 8 years of guilt. Perhaps I’m trying to write Luke and Antonio back into existence. Perhaps I should stop at four G & T’s.

In other news, the illustrator, Winter, mailed back. She digs the black and white idea. Let’s see how it works.

I have 20 minutes before my flight boards, might as well pop her a mail quick.


Email : To: Winter

             From: Iris



Hi Winter, I am returning home from a conference. I don’t have much time to go into detail but here is a small list of things we need to go over soon. Ill mail you more details once home.

1)      Cover art for promotional use.

2)      Publishing names. I will using an alias. If you choose not to, we will need an agreement that you can’t spill the beans.

3)      I need one character to be colour. The duck. We can discuss my reasoning for this soon. I would appreciate your artistic input here.

Speak Soon,


Wonder why she doesn’t do phone calls.

Fligh JK201 Now Boarding.




  • cupcakemummy

    I cried a little.
    Now how the hell am I supposed to respond to this woman?
    Going to need to put my thinking cap on for this…

    June 26, 2014 - 5:05 pm Reply
  • annette

    Oooo this is getting goood 🙂

    June 27, 2014 - 5:46 am Reply
  • chapter 11 | cupcakes and sailors

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    June 27, 2014 - 10:14 am Reply

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