" The average traveller "

Unpopular opinions and other unnecessary things.

I am close to 30 and I figured it’s time I stop shying away from things. I am going into a new era and I am going to own it. However long it may last.

Post after post of ’50 facts about me” have crossed my screen and each one more boring than the next. I am sure you have seen the “this or that” Instastory template and can you HONESTLY tell me you give two fucks if someone prefers coffee over tea? I sure as hell don’t.

But like every asshole who owns a domain I figured I might as well join the narrative but, make it my own.

What follows are nothing more than uneducated opinions on things, movements and evenpeople. Perhaps you get to know me a little better. Perhaps they deter you from speaking to me, which I am also completely fine with.

Here goes nothing.

I don’t care for gadgets. But if it has an Apple on it, I want to own it. Not even sorry.

If you can’t take a photo with a straight horizon you have no business trying to shoot with an SLR.

I have loved polaroid’s and vinyl’s since before Musica told you to buy them.

I think paper straws are disgusting and I will walk to a place that has plastic to get one and use that. I make up for it by carrying reusable shopping bags in my handbag.

I hate convertible cars. It’s like having the option to sit under a cool and tranquil tree and choosing to sit in the blazing heat because it looks cool to have a tan. (Sorry guys, I tried hard to like it.)

I don’t like having the windows open in the car, unless I am driving.

I am not particularly good at driving manual cars. Although I quite enjoy the mini. I once drove my sister’s golf and the steering was so tight that my noodle arms, that are used to power steering, couldn’t turn the car. We laughed so much I had to pull over.

But I still believe everyone should know how to drive a manual. 

I will always order sparkling water over still.

I don’t drink fizzy/sugary drinks or fruit juices. But I live on cold pressed juice.

If you steel my pen I will remember it.

Moleskines are the only diary worth owning.

I like Starbucks because of the branding but Seattle makes better coffee.

I like money, but I like giving it away more. I will spend every last cent on someone to make them happy, you can always work hard and make more money someday.

I hate selling shit, but I am excellent at it.

Going out for coffee makes me happy.

I fucking LOVE going to the movies. Even if nothing good is showing, I just love going to a cinema and eating popcorn that is too salty and just not having to think.

I suffer from anxiety and ptsd, I don’t like to talk about it or glorify it. There are enough people popping Rescue thinking they suffer from something out there. It’s there, it’s a thing, I have the people who get it and together they make it ok. 

I don’t mind Trump. (ducks from rocks being flung at me) I listen to enough NPR to have the smallest opinion on this. I think he held true to what he claimed he was going to do (except the wall) and not everything is the giant mess the big blue feeds us, but he is wrapped in an obnoxious, douchy package. I have no doubt that he is as kak a human as people claim him to be. But I just don’t think he the worst president. He just makes it too easy to hate him. 

I think my best friend is one of the most intelligent humans I have met, and I struggle to understand why or how she keeps me around. I tell her this quite often, she thinks I am joking. I’m not.

I think my mom and sister are the greatest teachers to ever walk the earth. My sister got a kid to read and write and do shit that others believed would never be able to do anything. My mom is the single most patient person on the planet and I recon she has changed more children’s lives than she will ever understand or care to admit.

I think my brother and sister-in-law are too intelligent to be teachers. Albeit they are brilliant ones too. I imagine my brother would have done amazing things had he gone into industry and I bet his wife would have made quite the restaurant or food critic of some sort. The kind they put on TV shows. She is clever and witty and if there is one human who knows excellent food, it’s her.

I think every South African blogger deems themselves a half decent writer when in truth none of us are. If we were any good at it, we wouldn’t need to publish press releases or all the review the same product at the same time.

I don’t think I am a good writer. But I enjoy it. 

I have deep, DEEP hate for P!nk. I think her music is fine, but her face makes me rage. Like I actively get angry. For no reason at all.

No one will ever quite understand how much it means to me when someone else cleans after I cook. I don’t mean later, I mean right after dinner. I can’t relax until shits clean.

When I send you a song I mean something by sending it. It’s not just “here is a cool a tune”

I love it when someone goes through the effort of finding me a song in return.

I love music.

I can’t sing.

I love board games. I LOVE board games. If you want to get me wet take me to an escape room. God I love it. And sadly most of the people I love hate it. 

I love trivia.

I have never played a pub quiz but am dying to.

I cried of happiness when they put Jeopardy on Netflix. (actual tears) 

I think Steven Avery is innocent.

I am related to two sex offenders in SA, one being Gert Van Rooyen. Whom is dead, thank fuck. With any luck the other one pegs soon too.

I had a perfectly normal and perfectly fucked up childhood all at the same time and I don’t care. I don’t think it quite screwed me up for life.

I like going back to Cape Town but I love leaving it more every time. I never want to live there, every again.

I think umbrellas are pointless, you still get wet but now you have hold this awkward thing too. Id rather just walk in the rain.

I have never visited a city I wanted to go back to as much as I want to go back to Amsterdam.

I think fake/gel/whatever nails look trashy, no matter the colour.

My toes are always painted in a funky colour though.

I wear sunscreen every single day. 

I don’t mind being pale, it has never bothered me. 

I must have shaven legs at all times and through all seasons. I made my sister shave them when I was too sick to. I refuse to be a slob.

I should be more insecure about my body. I should want to hide it or cover it up or I should post about how brave I am to wear short dresses or squeeze into a bikini when really I don’t give a fuck. I look the way I look. I don’t give a shit if my jeans are “out of fashion”.

I don’t understand the body positivity movement. I think it sits somewhere between an excuse and loving yourself. 

I think all sizes can be beautiful. 

I think kids who are raised vegans are missing out and I hope their parents don’t forsake them if they choose real cheese one day.

If you choose cheese I hope you don’t get shunned.

I don’t like the beach. I don’t like being sticky and therefore I choose the pool over the windy, sandy, big deep sticky every time.

I think I am very opinionated and quite rude. But when you have me, I will do anything for you. I don’t care for pleasantries and I don’t think you can be kind all the time. Sometimes you just have to be firm. Maybe a different kind of kindness.

I like who I am. 

But I feel like I let everyone else down by not being more. 

I think in this day and age introverts are made to be the ideal personality type. “I need to be alone to regain my energy”.

I think extroverts don’t get nearly enough credit.

I can’t stay angry.

I can’t keep gifts a secret, lord knows I try. But I can’t help myself.

That’s it for now because the list got too long too quickly. I hope you learnt more about me than a template where I circle where I like dining in rather than dining out.

The answer is dining in, just like everyone else.


1 Comment

  • Bianca

    One thing I remember about you is that you love music. You send a song long ago and I still have it. Avicci phase one day 🙂

    November 26, 2018 - 12:22 pm Reply

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