Blog : Stories

Average, sometimes.

Average, sometimes.

The blog has been quiet for the last week. Not because of a lack of words, I have just been directing them in another direction.

I have been taking stock of a few things and I came to the conclusion that I rarely give myself credit for things. I even put the word “Average” in my tag line. But you know what, there are somethings that I am not average at.

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Top 5 Podcasts

Top 5 Podcasts

My obsession with Podcasts has reached a new high. I now download a bunch of them to listen to while I do all sorts of things. I listen in the bath, I listen while I work, on flights, I listen in the car and my newest hobby is forcing all my friends to listen too. I need someone to talk to about all these cool things I am learning don’t I?

There are so many great podcasts available to listen to, every few weeks I find a new one to add to my playlist. I think It’s a combination of learning new and interesting things (Like why Birkin Bags cost so much, or why universities own so many patents) and oddly enough it makes me more productive. Some podcasts make you laugh hysterically in public some make you cry and some you listen to till 3 in the morning because you can’t get enough.

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Tiny Towns – Tell your story

Tiny Towns – Tell your story

As an average traveler my destinations are often what other travelers consider boring. Not note worthy or vanilla even. But I have this theory that once you start enjoying the small dusty and dodgy towns you will enjoy the big trips to exotic places just so much more when the opportunity for them comes around.

My tiny towns series (Go read about it, it is totally cool) is some of the most fun posts I have written. Mostly because research requires you to get in the car and explore your town. Maybe even buy some damn good local food for dinner.

But I can only visit so many towns. Average traveler also means average budget.

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Memories of Madeira

Memories of Madeira

My husband is Portuguese. To be more specific, he is Madeiran. Madeira for those who don’t know is a tiny (very tiny) island off the coast of Portugal. Almost closer to Morocco. A few years ago I was lucky enough to visit the island to meet his dad. We had already been together for more than 5 years at the time but his dad was unwell and not able to visit in SA. I am so fortunate I was able to meet this incredible man. Sadly a year after our visit he passed on but I will always hold the time spent with him very dear.

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Chapter 8.

Read chapter 7 here with Cupcakemummy.


The Duck and the Cat

Quacks and Meows

Stupid cat and stupid duck

Crappy children’s book

Chinese food

Feathers and Fur

Yeah ok, the last one we can work with. Personally I thought “Book 1” had a certain rustic charm about it. But what do I know. I only sold half a million copies of my first novel titled “Tits in the rain”.

(It was an acronym okay) Then again maybe I sold half a million because it had the word “tits” in the title. Actually I have often wondered how many horny guys bought the book thinking it was pages and pages of wonderfully perky wet boobs. I wish my boobs were perkier.

I need to mail back that illustrator. I hadn’t really thought about a contract but to be honest, I don’t really care either. Colour Media pays. Jobs hers. I think I have a standard agreement somewhere. Her sketches are good though. Like really good. But I’m not gonna tell her just yet. Why does everyone have to better at everything than me. I am such a fucking failure.

Email: To: Winter

             From: Iris

             Attached: Illustration Agreement Colour Media House

             Subject: Feathers and Fur


  Hi Winter,

            Attached is the standard agreement for Colour Media. I hope you find it in order. Please give  them a shout if you want to know or change something. Thank you for the base sketches. They are adequate. We can work on it if you wish to continue this project. The duck is too…happy. They are lonely, sad creatures. I feel this needs to be highlighted more.

Maybe she won’t notice how insecure I am about my work. Obituaries are better written than my latest stuff.

            We can discuss this further once I have written an alternate.

My first novel was famous for having two endings. Giving the reader the choice to end it off in the way they see fit. Why shouldn’t my children’s book have one? The kid can decide how he wants it to end. Preparing for the real world. Where all you do as an adult is make choices every day. Korn Flakes or Rice Crispies, Hair loose or hair up, tea or coffee, left or right, A or B. Might as well write it, like life.

          Would I be able to give you a call to discuss the some design ideas I had in mind?                                 What do you think of the book done completely in black and white?

She will probably flip her lid for that comment. Her base sketches were pretty colourful.

         Let me know.



RING RING RING – I see Eliots name pop up on the screen. I slide my finger across the screen to avoid the call. I haven’t been to therapy in 3 weeks now. Screw Therapy.