Navigation – The process or activity of accurately ascertaining one’s position and planning and following a route.
I have always been rubbish at following a route. I hate cooking with a recipe and give up half way because it feels like work and I shit you not the actual Maps function on my phone is broken. It always reads my position as one road to the left. (Yes, I and several other people have tried to fix this. I have given up and actually learned how to use it as is. You know like the car you drive where one gear is a bit sticky but you don’t notice it after a while.)
Weird hearing this coming from a planner. Those close to me can testify that I am the queen of planning. I have actual to-do lists in my Moleskin and I stick to them. Daily. But here’s the truth. I hate planning. I hate the work of it. This is possibly where my hatred for cookbooks come from. Having to read and cook feels like work. I would much rather just chuck things in a pot, stick my finger in it and taste to see if it makes me happy. If it doesn’t I chuck some more things in it.
Navigation has always been important to me. Know where I am going and finding ways to get there. But the older I get the more I just don’t care where I end up. At least the ride there will be fun.
I have spent the last decade building a career I can be proud of. I love my work. I really do. But as I branch out into different industries I find myself asking if the one I have forged a path into is really meant for me. Wine is amazing. It is interesting and complicated and there is always more to learn. More to do. More to master. I do feel I am not glamorous enough for this industry. I don’t care for the glitz and prestige of it. Pride washes over me when I look back over the last 10 years of work and realise how far I climbed. Without a safety net.
Recently I have been thinking about where I am going. Asserting my position and planning and following a route. Well, fuck that idea. I am just going to wing it.
Most of you have read about my best friend following her dreams to South America.The other girl who is always in my corner booked her dream trip and is off to London in a few short weeks. I couldn’t be prouder.
I have decided to carry on cooking without a recipe. Adding things to my life and seeing if it makes me happy and if it works maybe someday someone will ask me for my recipe. If I want to take a trip, I am going to book it. If I want to try my hand at a side hustle to see if I like it, I will make time for it in the evenings. I will pour my heart into my work and poke it with a stick until it loves me back.
Why are we so deadset on following plans? Why do we need such structure? Just maybe, you can find a glorious sunset not even though, but because your GPS is broken and you ended up on some little hill in Joburg instead of sitting in traffic.
Just maybe, navigation doesn’t have to be so important.