I am not the best, at anything.

I am not the best, at anything.

I am not the best, at anything.

Late at night, when I paint my nails and catch up with messages I didn’t get to during the day I get to sit back and marvel at how incredible the people I surround myself with are. The people I cheer on, on a daily basis.

I have the man who not only survived but now thrives after years of suffering.

I have the woman who lost everything and built it up again when life went to shit.

I have the woman with too many degrees to count who just landed the dream job that will make major waves very soon.

I have the guy who continues to see when he was told it would be blind.

I have the man who buried more than half his family but continues to see the importance of close family every day.

I have the mother I look up to who stopped working to raise her boys.

I have the mom who continues to work to support her growing family.

I have the brothers who challenge me on everything I know, and I love it.

The guy who wrote a magnificent novel.

I have the sister who survives no matter what life hurls at her.

I have the brother who is doing his PhD

And the woman who found her calling and knows she is without a doubt, the best at what she does.

Such easy people to cheer on.

I tick none of these boxes and that is perfectly fine. I am not the best at what I do. I make mistakes all the time. Just today I nagged my boss to get something done only to realise at the last minute I got the date wrong and the deadline was on the 6th of July and not June. I am the first to be open about making mistakes. My job(s) are difficult to explain to friends, mostly because they lose interest halfway through. I have a friend who knows unequivocally that she is the best at what she does for a living and she is on the brink of something that will propel her into a whole new path. I am always in the front row cheering. I didn’t have that when I was younger. I had no one telling me I was doing it right. Nor did I ever feel this way. Just perhaps not being the best at anything is ok. Or at least ok enough for me.

My mother’s life motto is tattooed on my wrist. (Such a 90’s cliche, I know) The “N” on my wrist stands for “nederig” Humble. Maybe being humble is more important than being the best. I will never change the world, I will never make a noticeable difference. I am of no significance what so ever. But perhaps being humble is enough. I tell people, I tell friends, what I wish I heard. Tonight I told someone “Maybe when I am big I will be as successful as you” and I got a “but you are successful though” back. But am I? No one really cares what I do with my time. As long as my work is done and I am respectful towards others, no one really cares what I do. In fact, no one even particularly cares what I write here. I manage quite a bit that I never get credit for. But just maybe that is what sets me apart. I don’t need credit.

I am quite okay with just being average. I am not the best, at anything. But I am rather good at far more than most realise.

Lately, I have been feeling as if I am not allowed to share things I am proud of. I mince my words because it’s frowned upon to be happy about weight loss. I play down achievements because I don’t want to seem boastful. I compliment and cheer rather than sharing small victories. Mostly because lately, I have been feeling as if those who I deem my best friends, don’t want to hear about me doing something great. I am kept around to serve one purpose, to cheer.

If you are reading this and you can picture the face of your biggest cheerleader, make a point of returning the favour today. Cheer THEM on. Ask how their day was. Ask about their average jobs. Ask about their average dreams. For one day you will look back and remember the first person who believed in you. You supported your passion. The one who paid for your service and bought your art or helped you pay the rent that one month when it all went to shit.

 

I am not the best at anything.

I am “not-too-bad” at most things. I am a good cheerleader.

Be kind to your cheerleaders. Occasionally they need cheering up too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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5 Comments

  • Anje June 7, 2018 at 4:15 am

    I love this, Lydia. Baie! And besides thanking those who cheer you on, there’s one thing I never understand: Why are humans so afraid to compliment someone? To tell someone they’re good at something, that they look good or that you share their joy for their accomplishments, or even just that well-deserved weekend break or a quiet day. In a weird way we’ve been conditioned to believe that paying someone a compliment will take something away from us, or that it will make our own craft less special, or there’s this notion of “What’s the point anyway if one doesn’t get a compliment in return”. Somehow, something that’s so easy – just a few words of saying well done – has become difficult but in reality it is the best thing ever, I try to make it my point to give at least one compliment a day (sometimes my cat gets it) and I’ve realised that saying it or staying quiet can make or break someone’s day.
    I’m rambling. I need coffee. But this was a great post.

  • Kerry June 7, 2018 at 5:29 am

    This is such a good post and I have so much to say to you which I will share personally.
    You are an amazing cheerleader, you push people, you have so much faith in everyone, you are always there, observing and waiting to send a kind or uplifting message.
    You’ve got a good crowd and you deserve it.

  • That guy June 7, 2018 at 6:42 am

    You, are brilliant at everything you do.
    Many people wouldn’t be doing what they do if it weren’t for you.

    I haven’t seen failures. Even when you’re feeling down, you still get things done.

  • Maz June 7, 2018 at 7:26 am

    So I’m not very good at cheering people on… I am more of a “is everything okay, let’s talk, can I order you a pizza and take all your pain away person” – but this was beautiful. I think you underestimate yourself and your value. You made huge sacrifices for the health and happiness of others… Without expecting anything in return. You are basicly the best at life and humanity in general. Forget what anyone else things – every single thing that is a victory to you is a victory worth celebrating.

  • Lisa Nobrega June 11, 2018 at 9:47 am

    I loved reading this, but i disagree with your comment , you’re an amazing writer! You give your readers things to think about, things that a lot of people don’t have the guts to say. You say it how it is, love that, “no sugar coat” but truth!You are humble and i love this about you, you will always give everyone else credit, but you fail to see how great you really are!!! Stay the beautiful person that you are and know that ill always be your cheerleader…I think you are amazing! Never let anyone tell you differently. Thank you for this.

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