Chapter 18.

Read chapter 17 here with Cupcake

Mark made a pass at me this morning In the copier room. He slide a note into my hand that read “ Your boobs, 1pm, on the copier”. You know what? My sexual drought has lasted long enough. Mark is as average as men come.  Tall(ish), hazel eyes with this golden rim around them. Quite charming actually. His hair does this thing where the little bit on the left always sticks up, when he’s nervous he combs it down. He combed it down this morning when he handed me the note. His skin looks so smooth. Even with his 5 O’clock shadow his skin looks better than mine. Fucking freckles. Ok maybe he is a little more than average. Maybe he is a little hot. What the hell does he want with me? Must have been that day I had my boobs out at my desk.

Thank god I wore my lace panties today. I was very close to going the granny panty route but the lace was new and I figured YOLO.

It takes ever last bit of courage I have to get up and walk to the copier room. I follow Mark without saying a word. I now realize why he chose 1pm. Everyone is out on lunch. The office is basically vacant, with the exception of Pam at reception glued to her monitor filling her lunch hour with Youtube nail painting tutorials. And us. Now awkwardly staring at each other from opposite ends of the room. Am I supposed to make the first move? I am no expert at office sex! Do I take my panties off and throw it at him? Is that still a turn on? Has that ever been a turn on?

I am still contemplating if I am really going through with this and suddenly he grabs me and plants his lips solidly on mine. Ok I guess we are going ahead with this then. His lips are soft. I think he put on chap-stick for this. He is good at this. I can feel his left hand run up the nape of my back. Suddenly His left hand glides into my hair. I’m glad I wore it loose. His hand caresses my head while his right hand takes a firm hold of my buttocks. I find myself sighing into his mouth. He notices and squeezes my arse tighter. He lifts me up as if it’s no effort at all. That a first. I am now sitting on the Xerox machine and I can feel him against me. I hike up my skirt and wrap my legs around his back. I can feel him rubbing up against me. He is bigger than I imagined. Not that I ever imagined his penis. Who am I kidding? Of course I did. This is it. I slide off my lace thong and do the first thing I can think of and fling it at him. It swooshes straight past him and lands in the recycle bin. He pulls out from the kiss and looks at me. Smiling. He is biting his bottom lip and I want him as much as a fat kid wants cake.

This is it. It’s happening. I am going to bang this fine specimen right here. I undo his belt.  Slowly unzipping his pants to expose his very-happy-to-see-me-friend and there’s a knock at the door with a very annoyed Michael screaming “Hurry up, I have shit to get done for the 1:30pm meeting”.

Shit. Balls. Fuck. We were so close. I don’t think I have ever seen a man do a belt buckle that fast. I am surprised he didn’t catch something in the fly. I pull my skirt back down and fluff my hair into a semi decent looking quaff. I grab a hand full of papers and unlock the door as if nothing ever happened. I hate you Michael.

Mark heads to his desk and throws me a quick smile and brushes his hair down before disappearing into his cubical. How the hell I am suppose to write now? And a children’s book at that.

I download me emails to distract me.



Winter – Ill get to her in second.

OOH my magazine came. It’s the new issue of Flat White Concepts. It’s the photography issue this month.  Great tonight’s reading material is taken care of.  Maybe I should tell Winter to subscribe.  It seems like something she would like. I think I remember Michael saying something about the Mag  needing some illustration done. Then Winter should definitely give it a look-see.

Talking about Winter.


To: Winter
From: Iris
Attached: revised – feathers and fur
RE RE: Oops, wine

Hi Winter.

 Its fabulous. I love the style and whimsy of the layout. I think we are a go on the first book. No need to send me inked copies. I am quite happy to proceed. I’d like to do a wording and illustration layout in the next week or so? Will that work for you?

Listen sorry for the sop story and thank you for being so cool about it. Didn’t mean to off load to you. But for some reason it’s just easier to talk to you than it is to a therapist. Gosh where were you 10 years ago? I could have saved me a fortune. I think you brought your friend some comfort. You sure seem to comfort me.

I just had the MOST AWKWARD thing happen to me. I VERY nearly got lucky with this incredibly hot man in my office. And MICHAEL cock blocked me. The douche. I meant to ask you. How do you know him? I’ve worked with him for 5 years now and he is still a dark horse to me.

Btw, wanted to tell you about this online magazine I read. Flat White Concepts. Coffee lovers and more. I heard they might be looking for some illustration work. I have attached the link for you to have a look at. The publisher’s name is Kirsten. Maybe pop her a mail?

Listen I have to get going. I have to submit the second book to the proof readers before I can send it to you. It’s still title-less.

Speak soonest.


Om my holy crackers. My underwear is still lying in the recycle bin. Fuck my life.





  • cupcakemummy

    Oh my giddy stars. Laughed so bloody hard right now.
    Now I have to try top an absolutely hilarious sex scene!

    July 9, 2014 - 8:43 pm Reply
  • chapter 19 | cupcakes and sailors

    […] read chapter 18 with greenlydia […]

    July 10, 2014 - 7:45 am Reply
  • Vannessa

    Loving this!! Now we’re talking! When you guys are done you must publish it, it is so easy to do these days. My friend published a yoga book and it is now on sale on Amazon. Unfortunately he has only sold 2 copies, one to us, but he is a published author! Lol.

    July 10, 2014 - 10:05 am Reply
    • greenlydia

      Thanks Vannessa 🙂 SO happy to hear people are reading and ENJOYING it! We are thinking of having it eBooked and maybe a paperback. Once we add illustrations. I hope you friend sells a thousand more copies.

      July 10, 2014 - 10:18 am Reply
  • Fabulous Mommy

    That so wasnt the bad, smutty sex scene I was expecting. I mean you didn’t even use the words throbbing member.

    This was so funny! It is just so well written and so humorous. Well done!

    July 10, 2014 - 10:31 am Reply
    • greenlydia

      Haha its come…excuse the pun 😉 thank you so much for following the story.

      July 10, 2014 - 10:34 am Reply
  • cjklassen12

    You are a rockstar, thank you for sharing your genius with us

    July 10, 2014 - 12:29 pm Reply
    • greenlydia

      *Blush*You guys are so awesome for all the support. Thank YOU!

      July 10, 2014 - 12:30 pm Reply
  • Elzanne C. van Zyl

    Ek het omtrent sit en sweet hier van op my senuwees wees iemand kom in die kopieerkamer ingestap! Hahahaha!

    July 11, 2014 - 1:53 pm Reply
    • greenlydia

      HAHAHA En jy sit REG langs die copier. 😉

      July 11, 2014 - 1:56 pm Reply

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